So what is ALP? My explanation is rooted in experience

It is the morning after an alcohol fuelled free bar networking event for women in tech. I am clear headed and slept well. I have no “did I really say that to so and so??” ,“which train did I get home?”, “who do I need to say sorry to?” voice in my head.

Was it boring? NO!! The idea that I would be at an event, drink zero alcohol, have great conversations, meet new people and leave stone cold sober yet inspired and happy was unthinkable just 18 months ago.

What has worked for me is to apply a structure to express, address and reconcile feelings that underlay harmful situations or unwanted behaviours I found myself party to. Excessive alcohol use, risk taking, substance misuse, over working and any other “over…doing” are often symptomatic of unhelpful patterns of thought. By giving those thoughts an ear we can tap into our innate wisdom which will always promote self care and gradually, bit by bit, counter the automatic negative thoughts.

To explain a bit more let’s take a look at cognitive dissonance….

Scenario:
Despite wishing you didn’t drink so much, berating yourself for not limiting to healthy units, hating hangovers and being keen on a healthy diet and exercise you still find yourself drinking your fill and then some, far too often.

Logic says “stay off the sauce” and yet a voice inside urges just another drink. Coaching guides us to acknowledge we are doing the best we can and to not be surprised that when one commits to altering a specific drinking behaviour, it often amplifies rather than diminishes. This amplification stems from an inner struggle, a conflict between the aspiration for change and the persistence of familiar habits. These behaviours frequently act as coping mechanisms, offering solace or an escape from underlying anguish. Thus, the decision to instigate change stirs a secondary voice within, knowing the coping strategy is being threatened. Inevitably we feel an internal discord characterized by cognitive dissonance, which in turn exacerbates emotional distress.

Coaching seeks to understand those beliefs - what will a drink help you with? We lean into the voices still yearning for the moderation of one or two pints or glasses; those voices saying we should be able to handle this.

The tactics surface beliefs you may not be aware of; the reasons that drinking has made sense to you in spite of all the downsides. Bizarrely, only by accepting all the parts of us which come into play with cravings and giving ourselves permission to “stop trying to stop” can we make progress.

The difference in TNM approach to others, is that we do not set rules or restrictions. When we set rules we function on pure will power and engage in a mental battle. This is exhausting and willpower is finite!

We stop looking at behaviour and instead, we go with the flow, observe and give our adult brains the power of decision making.

By looking at reality and assessing facts the mind gradually, and in its own time will tip the scales of perceived benefits vs costs. The rationality we have is what grows into the view that addictive substances may be irrelevant to life and social occasions. We often already know this and so there is also the need to delve deeper into the subconscious through paying great attention to emotions. Change happens in these liminal spaces - the bridge between the varied voices we have directing us.

I am now able to harness the energy I possess as a strength, guiding me towards goals I consider important, instead of tangling up my head and emotions into a glue I just needed to escape from by getting trashed.

The bonus of freedom from draining habits is the ongoing release of waves of joy, creativity and energy! Firing on more cylinders you free up energy to do the things that only you can do.